Iâve been thinking a lot about nostalgia as I spend time in the QZAP archive. My posts this week and next will be about items in the archive that relate to events with a queer zine focus. And itâs really hard to read these materials and not to feel envy those who got to attend them.
Issue #2 of the zine BLOT is held in QZAPâs archive, but not digitized. The zine documents two queer events that took place in Toronto in 1993. I grew up in rural Ontario, about 5 hours away from Toronto, and was 6 years old in 1993. The place I grew up in was pretty bad for weird little fruity kids, and it is bittersweet to read about events that were happening in my lifetime and in a place not too terribly far away, but that were nevertheless worlds apart from my own experience.
SPEW was a queer zine event that took place 3 times in the early â90s. The first edition was held May 25, 1991, in Chicago, the second, February 28 – March 1 in LA, and the third and as far as I know, final, version, took place May 15 and 16, 1993, at Buddies in Bad Times in Toronto.
Thereâs a really cool little documentary about SPEW 1 thatâs available online:
Steve LaFreniere, the organizer of SPEW1, was stabbed in the back by homophobic passers-by on the street after one of the SPEW events, but fortunately, he recovered. Itâs always important to temper your nostalgia with a realism about ways that things were also more or differently fucked up in times past.
The SPEW 2 writeup that I linked above opens by quoting the words that appeared over the door of the event, which would definitely make me pretty darn hyped for what was to come:
âGAY TO QUEER- Begin to revel in your sexuality. Trained, disciplined, butt fucking, cunt spreading, militant prancing pagan homos. No apologies. No compromise.”

SPEW 3 is previewed as follows in Queer Zine Explosion #7, an issue of the handout published by Larry-Bob Roberts alongside his zine Holy Titclamps:
âIt’s accessible and cheap. Zines, videos, performances, weird shit, party with live bands. A homocore alternative-queer thing (this is not a “convention”)â
BLOT #2 describes SPEW 3 as including âan informal round table discussion on zine production, [including] distribution [and] low cost production,â including QZAPâs own Chris Wilde! There was a zine fair the second day with âclose to 60 different zinesâ, and readings from Charlie from MATCH and Lydia Landstreet. I couldnât find anything online about MATCH or Lydia Landstreet, but Iâd be curious if anyone has info on them!
The evening event sounds like a lot of fun, with âa two-member noise group from Michigan called MATCH, and Torontoâs own Ignatz and Chicken Milk (now know as Venus Cures All)â, as well as âa snack table⌠with mostly vegetarian foodâ, âa slideshow of â50s lesbian trash novels and other queer mediaâ, and TVs playing Bruce La Bruceâs No Skin Off My Ass and âvideos about Toronto punk, CrashânâBurn and Not Dead Yetâ
BLOT #2 also documents a queercore party on Saturday August 15, 1993, also in Toronto, featuring screenings from GB Jones, and performances from Daddy Carbon (who I also couldnât find anything out about) and, again, Ignatz. The author of BLOT notes that it was âreally nice to see fags and dykes together having fun and to see a pretty equal split between girls and boys.â
The best answer to what to do about nostalgia is usually to try and identify what in particular youâre yearning for, and to figure out ways to bring that about in your present and future life. Thatâs a tall order for a messy, sweaty, sexy queer in-person gathering, from the perspective of 2024, year 4 of the forever pandemic. Iâm sure thereâs still lots of events of that description going on, but theyâre less accessible than ever to my disabled friends and dates and comrades. How can we build events and gatherings that capture some of the feeling of events like these, but that are adapted to make space for as broad a swath of queers as possible, in an ongoing pandemic?
Next week, Iâll be writing about Queeruption, a radical queer gathering thatâs taken place 12 times between 1998 and 2017. QZAPâs archives have materials from five of these, as far as I can tell. Letâs see what we feel nostalgic for, and what weâd like to leave in the past.
Lee P, interning at QZAP in summer 2024, is a long-time zine maker whose current project is Sheer Spite Press, a small press and zine distro. Originally from unceded Algonquin land, Lee calls TiohtiĂ :ke // Mooniyang // Montreal home. Lee is also a member of the organizing collective for Dickâs Lending Library, a community-run, local library of books by trans, non-binary, and Two-Spirit authors.